Sunday, September 09, 2007

My struggle with the SOIs:

I didn't know any thing about SOIs until I took the Charisma Arts bootcamp and it has been a long struggle for me to really understand SOIs. They can be as blunt as saying "I find your lust for skydiving really sexy about you. I'm so sick at all these girls who stay home and do nothing and it's a breath of fresh air to talk to some one who is different" By the way, dropping a well calibrated SOI like that is just like dropping a nuke. It'll get attraction. Lots of it and it will change the way she will interact with me. I love it.

At the same time, SOIs can be different. I don't have to tell her she is sexy for her to know that I'm after a relationship that's romantic. There are ways to convey that. Here is an example of a SOI that doesn't have the word sexy:

She: .... and when I was in Italy, I went to Venice and took a trip on the boat and took pictures of all the historical buildings.

Vibe: That's wonderful. I'd be scared to those ride one of those small boats because they might tip over and I'll end up in the dirty water and catch a disease but it's nice to meet a girl who travels a lot. I totally love that. I'm gonna have to make a move on you but I've been to Italy too...... [In this situation, I showed her my sexual interest by telling her thant I'm gonna make a move on her. She will respond to me differently from that point on if she understands my SOI.]

During the bootcamp, they told me to find a unique quality about her and SOI and that's not true. The most important factor in delivering a SOI is not her unique quality. The most important part is for me to grab my balls and do it with 100% congruency. If I really believe that she is the most beautiful girl on earth, I can walk up to her and say:

Vibe: "Excuse me. I'm standing over there and I couldn't help but to notice you. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen"

She: Melts

In this case, she knows what I'm after and she would accept the SOI because I'm totally congruent in the way I delivered it. That being said, I don't really like to SOI women on their beauty, unless the approach is done in day time while she is walking. I'd rather find a higher value in her and show my interest in her based on her higher value.

So the second important component of a SOI is for her to have a higher value. A higher value could be that she loves to pain during weekend or that she fells happy when she cuts some ones hair and gives them a new look.

Lastly, when delivering a SOI, the most important thing is not seek her reaction. What I do is make my intentions clear and keep talking.

Ex: I love the fact that you take your weekends off and go to different thrift stores to find cool stuff. That's sexy. I usually go to a mall ever few weeks and do the same thing but I'm looking for cool graphic T-Shirts.